特此强调，本文无意针对范文作者，仅就文章本身做出点评
本文为绝对原创，版权所有，侵权必究
句子结构方面：
- 流畅度和过渡问题：文章中的句子和段落之间的连接相对生硬，导致文章的整体流畅度较低。需要更好的过渡句来引导读者。
- 重复性：有一些句子中出现相同的词汇或表达，如 "Plastic pollution causes severe damage" 和 "Not only should we reduce our plastic consumption"，这些重复性不仅降低了文章的清晰度，还影响了句子的多样性。
词汇选择方面：
- 缺乏多样性：文章中的词汇相对单一，没有充分利用丰富的英语词汇资源，这导致文章显得相对单调。
- 术语使用：有时使用了较为官方或学术化的词汇，如 "greenhouse gas emissions"，这对于一般读者来说可能不够清晰。在这种情况下，应尽量使用更通俗的表达。
综合来看，句子结构需要更好的过渡和多样性，而词汇选择需要更具表现力和通俗度，以使文章更具吸引力和清晰度。
句子结构和词汇选择的建议：
句子结构方面：
- 流畅度和过渡：改进过渡，以使句子和段落之间更流畅连接。例如，可以使用过渡短语如 "Moreover" 或 "Furthermore" 来引导新的观点。
修正前：Moreover, dealing with plastic waste contributes to greenhouse gas emissions, worsening the climate crisis.
修正建议：Furthermore, addressing plastic waste contributes to greenhouse gas emissions, further exacerbating the climate crisis.
- 重复性：避免在相邻句子或段落中使用相同的词汇或表达，以增加句子多样性。
修正前：It's high time that we took measures to address this issue. Not only should we reduce our plastic consumption, for example, by using cloth shopping bags and steel plates, but we should actively recycle, pick up plastic garbage, and promote a culture of responsibility.
修正建议：It's high time that we took steps to tackle this problem. We need to cut down on our plastic use, for instance, by opting for reusable cloth shopping bags and steel utensils. Simultaneously, we should engage in recycling, clean up plastic litter, and encourage a culture of environmental responsibility.
词汇选择方面：
- 多样性：使用更多不同的词汇来增加文章的多样性。例如，避免在多次提到塑料污染时重复使用相同的表达，而是寻找近义词或不同的方式来描述。
修正前：Plastic pollution causes severe damage to our planet.
修正建议：Plastic pollution inflicts significant harm on our planet.
- 通俗度：确保所使用的词汇对于一般读者来说易于理解。避免使用过于学术或官方的术语，而是选择更通俗、清晰的表达方式。
综合来看，句子结构需要更好的过渡和多样性，而词汇选择需要更具表现力和通俗度，以使文章更具吸引力和清晰度。
更好的范文
June 5, 2023, marks the 52nd World Environment Day, and this year's theme "Beat Plastic Pollution" resounds as a clarion call for change. As our planet grapples with the menace of plastic pollution, it's imperative that we take a step back and ponder its grave significance.
Consider the vast expanse of the Pacific Ocean, where the Great Pacific Garbage Patch, a swirling mass of plastic waste twice the size of Texas, serves as a dire testament to our plastic addiction. It endangers marine life, disrupts ecosystems, and enters the food chain, affecting human health.
To combat this crisis, we must embrace the "Beat Plastic Pollution" initiative. It beckons us to reduce our plastic consumption by using alternatives like reusable bags, adopting eco-friendly packaging, and supporting responsible disposal. For instance, the Rwandan government's ban on plastic bags and Styrofoam containers has yielded remarkable results, making it a leading example of effective change.
In the spirit of World Environment Day, let's pledge to reduce plastic waste and safeguard our precious planet.
